I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
