New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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