All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
