I'd wear matching sweaters with you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
