We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
