why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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