Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
