So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
