A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
