She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
