He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
