drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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