I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
