I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
