His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
