He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
