i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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