i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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