I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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