she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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