You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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