worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
