What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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