singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
