Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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