At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
