2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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