i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this just has baby written all over it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
