I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just google imaged poop.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
