I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
