tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
God, I missed his penis.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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