If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
