We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
