It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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