I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
