At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
