I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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