just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
