I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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