I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize