bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize