You're my little dorito
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
