if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
