she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
