Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
