Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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