I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
