i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
