It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
