I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
