Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
