I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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