Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
