I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
sex in a hospital.. check
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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