my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
