Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Someone shattered a urinal.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize