I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
