i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
