i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
