my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
