New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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