Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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