she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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