im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is Oprah even human
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
