Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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