so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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