apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
