Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
BRING THE BAGELS
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
