At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
