Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
