my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
where am i from again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
