physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
