How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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