My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
