3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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