I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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