Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
