What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
