Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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