your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
